P I N K

Metro March 2010: TransPinay

2010-03-10T21:49:00.000-08:00

The struggle for Dee Mendoza to prove herself at work was a difficult one, not for reasons of capability, but because of the way she chose to express and affirm her gender. Mendoza talks intimately about being a transsexual woman; her discoveries and her struggles that ultimately led to her emancipation.

Clothes may make a man, but it doesn’t make a woman.

I have always been a woman even though I had to wear men’s clothes. Cross dressing — that is me in men’s clothes — started at a very young age. I was born with a male body. Thus, I was expected to perform conventionally in the role of male; act male, be heterosexual, have girl friends, and eventually a wife.

It never felt right. From my earliest memories I knew I was not comfortable in some way. From an early age, I identified far more with my childhood girl friends than boyfriends. It went on until college, up to the first few years of my employment in my current job.

My parents reared me to become a good, law-abiding, God-fearing boy. In my heart I know that they did this out of love and good intentions. But that did not stop me from dressing up in princess gowns using our spare curtains or wrap a towel on my head and think that it was my long hair when I was alone or in the company of my female friends.

One Christmas, I wrote Santa: Dear Santa, please give me a Barbie doll.

“Santa” (my parents) wrote me back and said: Barbie dolls are for girls, you should not ask for that. I was crushed. I thought Santa Claus was about magic. I thought he was my confidant, and my request was something that would not reach my parents. From then on, I wrote to Santa and asked for neutral toys like puzzles or books.

As I grew up, the only path open to me was the so called gay role. But I soon discovered that wasn’t me.

Meeting the word “transgender” is one of the turning points of my life. It was then that I truly began to discover who I was, who I am, who I have always been, in respect to my sexuality, and my gender. I knew then that I was, and always had been, gender female, and a heterosexual woman.

There was no transformation, there was just an AFFIRMATION. A declaration to myself and to the world that my gender is female and that I am a woman. The word “transformation” is problematic to describe my experiences. It connotes a leap from point A to point B. In retrospect, I have always thought myself to be female since the earliest recollection of my memory. It was later blurred by the dictates of society and it became clear again to me when I reached the affirmative point in my life where I rediscovered I am woman.

Before the realization, I lived a life behind a mask. Always pretending to be someone I was not. I was always unhappy, unfulfilled.

The day I rediscovered who I am was the day I was set free. I was never felt happier, more confident. It was as if a whole new world awaited me.

Before that, I felt so trapped.

This is me, free and unmasked. This is who I am. Who I have always been. I was always Dee. That wasn’t always my name. But I have always been who I am. I felt it from an early age, but as described above, rebelled against my imposed identity and now, I am myself both outwardly as well as well as inwardly.

Discovering who we are is a process all of us go through at some point in our lives, and it takes time. For some people it takes more time than for others, and for the transperson, discovery is further complicated by the restrictions of society’s conventional thinking, misunderstanding, and even hostility about sexuality, sexual identity, and gender identity.

The reality is that the conventional view that there is only male and female, heterosexual and homosexual, and that one should conform to the expected norms, is simply, wrong. Human, life, all life for that matter, is more complex and more interesting than that.

Of course, there are still some constraints for me. These are not of my choosing. Instead they are imposed by those around me, by some sections of our society, in its ignorance and bigotry, when it tries and sometimes succeeds in restricting my right to be who I am. I face this daily.

Beyond Appearances

A few years ago, I was fired from my job because I started to express my real gender by growing my hair and putting on women’s garb.

The reason for termination was, of course, something else other than that. I actively searched for a job after that enduring as many as 3 interviews in a week. This went on for 6 months. I even applied for entry-level positions in Marketing, which were way below my qualifications. I would be called for an interview upon seeing my resume, but when they saw me, they’d politely come up with a reason for the rejection of my application. An unforgettable encounter I had with a prospective employer was when he said, to my face, “We’re okay with gays but not the likes of you.”

Fortunately now, I am employed by an equal opportunity employer who judges me based on my performance and not what’s between my legs or how I choose to present myself. I had to prove myself and work hard, but it paid off. I have earned the respect of my supervisor and colleagues and have been with the same company for the last 6 years.

I am currently in a healthy, loving relationship. I met my partner on-line.

You know, there’s a certain quality about meeting someone on-line; you are not lured by the trappings of the other’s beauty, the wining and dining…by the need for touch. You connect on an intellectual and deeper level.

He flew here to the Philippines a few months after we met. For the first few years, it was a long distance relationship. He would fly here every three months and would be together 6 months in a year. In 2008, he moved here.

My partner looks at me and treats me as a woman. I told him from the start that I am a transsexual woman and he said: “It doesn’t change the way I feel about you”. My partner has always been heterosexual and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. I wouldn’t want to go out without a man interested in other men.

He first proposed to me on a trip to London. We were outside the church where Princess Diana got married and he knelt down and proposed. I told him it wasn’t the right time yet, and I think it may have hurt him, but after a year, he proposed again and I said yes.

I’m incredibly happy. Because of the Gender Recognition Law in the UK, ours will not be a civil partnership, it will be a marriage. Being married has always been my dream as a child to and now it’s going to happen. I’m going to make it happen. It’s the ultimate affirmation of my femininity. I am going to be part of a legitimate and recognized couple.

Suffice to say that there is nothing really that remarkable about transpeople, beyond the struggles we have to overcome to be accepted as just as normal, just as clever, just as nice just as nasty — just the same as everybody else.

We are so much more than our bodies. When we think of ourselves and others in terms of their anatomy and their genetalia, it is as if we are reducing ourselves to bits and pieces.

We all want love and long for a lifelong partner.

We just have to try harder, and do more than most to prove it. And all we want is a level playing field, an equal chance to succeed.

Beauty VS Sex Appeal

2009-03-05T01:24:00.000-08:00

Does physical beauty still count or can we get by with our sex appeal, X factor, and our inner more ethereal qualities?

What makes a person attractive these days? Is it still the external characterisitics or the internal aspects like intellect, confidence, generosity, or sensitivity? Psychological studies show that men rank female beauty the highest among list of attributes that they seek in women. Does it still hold true today? These days, personal style and confidence are now blurring in the line between having a pretty face, and well, not having it. Just look at magazine covers and pages and you'll find a wide range of looks that defy the traditional standards of beauty. Today, beauty has become all about embracing your individual look.

"Beauty is what attracts, but a person's appeal is whatholds the attraction."

BEAUTIFUL TEARS...

2009-01-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

Tears are words the heart can't express. We see some beauty queens cry when being crowned because of the feeling of mixed of emotions. They maybe can't say a word on that very moment, but its their tears that speak so many meanings . The joy through tears in their victories is the best emotion for them. They are very lucky to experience one event in their lives that made them cry. We see them with tears in their eyes, and a smile on their faces!!!

Human Beauty and Phi

2008-02-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

Human Beauty

"Beauty is in the phi of the beholder."

It has long been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and thought that beauty varies by race, culture or era. The evidence, however, shows that our perception of physical beauty is hard wired into our being and based on how closely one's features reflect phi in their proportions. Take another look at beauty through the eyes of medical science.

A template for human beauty is found in phi and the pentagon

Dr. Stephen Marquardt has studied human beauty for years in his practice of oral and maxillofacial surgery. Dr. Marquardt performed cross-cultural surveys on beauty and found that all groups had the same perceptions of facial beauty. He also analyzed the human face from ancient times to the modern day. Through his research, he discovered that beauty is not only related to phi, but can be defined for both genders and for all races, cultures and eras with the beauty mask which he developed and patented. This mask uses the pentagon and decagon as its foundation, which embody phi in all their dimensions. For more information and other examples, see his site at Marquardt Beauty Analysis.
http://www.beautyanalysis.com/index2_mba.htm

Even with a perfectly proportioned face though, there are endless variations in coloring and the shapes of each facial feature (eyes, eyebrows, lips, nose, etc.) that give rise to the distinctive appearance of each race and provide for endless variations in beauty that are as unique as each individual.

The human face communicates an incredible array of emotions which are an integral element of one's total beauty. The human face conforms most closely to phi proportions when we smile. You'll be perceived as more beautiful with a warm smile than with a cold-hearted look of anger, arrogance or contempt.

Credits: http://goldennumber.net/beauty.htm

HOMOSEXUALITY, TRANSVESTITES, DRAG QUEENS & TRANSEXUALS

2008-01-05T00:38:00.000-08:00

by: Miss Universe 1000 BC of Missosology

REINCARNATION

There are many mysteries of life that cannot be answered by the mind & logical faculties as the brain is limited to work only maximum 8% in this current era scientifically proven. But you can surely start developing the higher powers of the mind by meditation where divine energy and knowledge flows directly into you.

I tried to meditate on the reason why people become homosexuals. The answer is they are just paying off a heavy debt of karma from their past lives. Jesus taught reincarnation but this teaching was concealed by the Priests in Medieval times distorting many infos like these. It was finally proven that Jesus indeed taught reincarnation when archeologists found Scrolls of Jesus's teachings in a Cave near the Dead Sea(Visit http://www.themystica.com/mystica/artic ... jesus.html or Google "Jesus taught reincarnation according to the Dead Sea Scrolls", thousand of links will appear). Technically I am Christian, I believe Christ existed but I do not follow Christianity 100% as many of the original informations have been distorted, so I prefer find my way on my own because following a religion simply because your parents did, is just like aping. If Jesus, Mohamad & Buddha didn't breakaway from the religions their parents were following perhaps these 3 major religions would not have existed today.

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KARMA (Cosmic Reaction & Retribution)

HOMOSEXUALS(Their Negative Karma & Punishment): There are 2 main types of homosexuals;

1.The 1st one which is the gay who dresses normally like a man but he still is sexually attracted by men. This type of homosexual was a very beautiful female in his past life but who unfortunately abused of her beauty in his past life and broke too many hearts of men who really loved him in his past life when he was a woman.

2.The 2nd one is a homosexual who dresses OFFICIALLY in woman in daily life. Contrary to the other type of homosexual who may dresses in female rarely, this homosexual dresses permanently in female dresses. The sin he commited when he was female in his previous life was also abusing of his Beauty and indulging in 'PROSTITUTION', as a retribution of karma he becomes a transvestite in this current life.
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FORMS OF COSMIC PAYMENTS

Generally those who commited these kinds of sins of abusing of Beauty & Sexual Intercourse pay back their karmic debts in 3 major ways;

1.Become a very ugly woman.

2.Born in an extremist muslim country as a woman deprived of sexual freedom. (That's why many of us hate the muslim religion, one of our past lives we should have had decided to use this form of payment[karma] where perhaps we had a bad experience for example: Being beheaded)

3.Become a homosexual where your female soul(feminine energy) will be imprisonned in a male body, to balance off male energy lacking and its sins. (This form of payment in itself is subdivided into 2 types: Normal gays/Transvestites.
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PROSTITUTION

In the deepest reality, prostitution is sacred and was a noble job in the time of Ancient Greece, Phoenicia & Ancient Egypt. We do not take only 1 lifetime or 2 but many lives and us, as being obssessed by Beauty Pageants(Note that Beauty pageant is an indirect & diplomatic form of prostitution) definitely should have had been a prostitute, geisha or courtesan(High Class Prostitute) in several of our past lives. Men were inferior to women in the previous era as men did not have psychic/spiritual powers as women did. Man is Physical/Mental where as Woman is Emotional/Psychic-Spiritual. In this age women are bereft(deprived) of their Psychic & Spiritual abilities, that's why men is now superior to women overwhelming women with his Physical & Mental faculties. In the previous age, it was reverse. Women had their Psychic-Spiritual powers fully activated which overwhelmed the physical/mental faculties of men. Coming back to prostitution, Men were too weak to reach GOD on his own via Meditation, so they needed the help of women to climb to GOD via "DIVINE PROSTITUTION". In this current age, prostitutes have become very cheap and they misuse this Divine Power they no longer how to use simply for lust, that's why they are punished by the law of karma in their consecutive life as a transvestite/drag queen/transexual.

My friend of U.K told me he is very sad and frustrated he is born male as his dreams to become a Miss is shattered. There should be many like him, I just have to advise you there is nothing to be sad of. Beauty Pageant fans who come & go in this forum are 100% directly controlled by the Planet of Beauty, Venus. Indirectly meaning you should have had been a very beautiful girl in your past life. Those who do not believe in reincarnation are in serious trouble as they will damn everything and find the crude reality of life difficult to digest. Remember one thing, You all were females & Super Beauties in your past lives. You just have to be patient now, because in this current life you just paying back your negative karma & it's only for 1 lifetime, in your next life, you will become female again but next time don't abuse of your beauty by breaking hearts of men or indulging in lechery, or again, you will get karmic reaction.

People Magazine Sexiest Men Alive 2007

2007-11-15T04:13:00.000-08:00

Matt Damon takes the top honor in People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive 2007. Here’s what People had to say about the sexiest man alive:

“George Clooney and Brad Pitt have shamelessly campaigned for him since 2001, but this year’s winner was Bourne to the title. “You’ve given an aging suburban dad the ego-boost of a lifetime,” Damon, 32, explained why he couldn’t possibly accept the crown – which perfectly demonstrates many of the reasons we chose him in the first place: irresistible sense of humor, rock solid family man, heart-melting humility.”

Who else made the list? Ryan Reynolds, James McAvoy, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Patrick Dempsey, Dave Annable, Will Smith, Shemar Moore, Ben Affleck, Adrian Grenier, Will Yun Lee and Justin Timberlake.

Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith, Ben Affleck and Justin Timberlake has also made my 50 Stylish Men List. If you’re wondering why George Clooney did’nt make the round-up llist, it’s because he’s pretty much called as King George and he’s proudly passing on his theSexiest Man Alive baton to dear pal Matt Damon.

THE AMAZING TRUTH ABOUT QUEEN RAQUELA

2007-11-13T06:11:00.000-08:00

Original title: THE AMAZING TRUTH ABOUT QUEEN RAQUELA
Director: Olaf de Fleur Johannesson
Cast Minerva Rios, Vala Einarsson, Olivia Galudo, Brax Villa, May Rose, Stefan Schaefer
Producer: Arlene Cuevas, Agnes Johansen, Olaf de Fleur
Production: Poppoli Pictures
Summary:

Raqulea is a poor prostitute who, like many Transsexuals (often known as "Ladyboys") in the Philippines, dreams of marrying a heterosexual man from the West. She spends much of her time on the internet looking for men who can come and rescue her. They promise to come, but time after time Raquela gets stood up at the airport. Her life changes when she by luck lands a job on Transsexual porn website as a webcam host. The owner of the website, Michael, a “Ladyboy specialist” who runs his business from New York, promises to help Raquela. Through the internet Raquela keeps making interesting friends - among them is Valery, the only "out of the closet" Transsexual in Iceland, who is looking for someone like herself. Through her friends in the internet world Raquela eventually gets the opportunity to travel far away on her quest to find the straight man of her dreams.

Raqulea is a poor transsexual prostitute who dreams of escaping to Paris, France to supposedly find her knight on Champ’s Elysee to marry and have a family. Being a Filipino she has little chance of getting a VISA needing someone from the west to be responsible for her application. When Raquela is discovered by a photographer she gets a job working as a webcam host on a popular transsexual website. Within six weeks she becomes the first Filipino pornstar earning ten times the average salary in The Philippines. Wanting to escape she tries heticly over the internet to find that special guy resulting in being stood-up month after month at the airport. Things change when she meets Valery on-line, the only transsexual in Iceland looking for friendship who promises to help Raquela with her VISA so she can take a walk in Paris.

Trailer of the Film:

I can't wait to watch this movie!!!

Miss International Queen 2007

2007-11-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

yehey Chanel Madrigal of the Philippines won 2nd Runner up!!

Jirapatpakon (C) of Thailand poses with runners-up Chanel Madrigal (L) of Philippines and Aleika Barros of Brazil after winning the Miss International Queen 2007 transsexual beauty pageant in the Thai resort city of Pattaya, southeast of Bangkok November 11, 2007.

Vote For My Friends!!!

2007-11-09T02:02:00.000-08:00

Ice is a good and pretty friend...She competed in several pageants and ended up always winning...She is fun, bubbly, and intelligent...definitely a fab...just recently she is one of the babes on tv in "Shoot that Babe Season 1"...
Pls do get a copy of FHM GIRL NEXT DOOR NOVEMBER 2007 MAGAZINE Philippines and vote for my friend Ice by texting FHMGND 11 and send to 7399!

Miss Philippines Chanel Madrigal, 2nd Runner Up Miss Amazing Philippines '06, is one of the candidates in the Miss Queen International 2007 in Thailand. I met Channel when i was in Manila and we were introduced by a common friend. Cha is an epitome of what a real transvestites is all about. Pretty, witty, and queenly... vote for her in RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT...SHES A HE!!! Chanel is CANDIDATE number 07...

Miss Amazing Philippines 2007

2007-10-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

It is yet another amazing year for the Filipina transgenders, transvestites, and transsexuals with the recently concluded Miss Amazing Philippines 2007.

The pageant showcased the 20 plus trans gender's beauties, bodies, and brains. This event has become one of the biggest main attractions in the country because of their creativity and talents that easily contributed to our country’s tourism, culture and entertainment industry.

These were the candidates of Miss Amazing Philippines Beauties during a press launch at a hotel in Manila October 2, 2007. REUTERS/Darren Whiteside (PHILIPPINES)

With all the 24 equally gorgeous and competent candidates, it was really a tough job for the judges to came out with a deserving winner. Kris Barrameda won the crown and will be representing the Philippines in this year’s Miss International Queen Pageant that will take place on November 9-10 at the Tiffany’s Show Lounge in Pattaya, Thailand.

Kris Barrameda crowned Miss Amazing Philippines 2007

I wish good luck to Kris for the next pageant in Thailand and I hope she will bring pride to our country in the international scene. I also wave good luck to all the other candidates who competed well in the pageant. You are all winners and this is not the end of your adventure. Continue to be beautiful and let yourselves shine on!

Mabuhay Ang Gandang Pinay!!!

(thanks to the photographer of these photos and to ABS-CBN for the screenshot of the winner)

Trip to Cagayan De Oro and Meeting An American Guy

2007-10-13T03:07:00.000-07:00

October 11, 2007 Thursday - Me and my cousin Mary went to Cagayan De Oro City together with both our moms to meet and welcome Mary's American boyfriend, Steve. That was their first meeting after months of chatting and sending emails through the internet and so my cousin was a little nervous that time. We arrived at the airport almost 2:00 in the afternoon but the airplane landed at 3:00 o'clock pm. When Steve finally came out in the arrival area, they exchanged smiles and hugs and it seems there is already a chemistry between them.

We just passed SM Mega Mall because we wanted to tour around the city to let Steve have a glimpse of what The City of Golden Friendship looks like. We passed Xavier University, Divisoria, and of course, the malls. First stop, gasoline station...hahahaha..do i need to say this? Well, maybe yes, because so close to it is the Lim Ket Kai Mall where we took sometime to look around for something interesting. But of course just like any other mall, there is nothing so great about it when you are not there for shopping. So after few minutes of window shopping, our stomachs leaded us to KFC for a fried chicken festival. Mmmm...i like the hot and spicy chicken, makes me hungry thinking about it now.

After the mall, we visited Mary's grandmother, the mother of her father. They live within the city limits so it is near and fast. With some hi and hellos and then talks and laughs, Lola Remedios finally said she likes Steve after seeing him giving Mary a fashionable and stylish wrist watch. Impressed? Hehehehee maybe...

The streets of Cagayan De Oro are busy and noisy and so it is tiring but fun. It is almost 7:00 pm when we headed back to Iligan and arrived around 9:00 pm. And even tired, they still went to introduce each members of the family and relatives. Everyone likes Steve because he is absolutely fantastic. He is religious and serious in life but funny and humorous as well. He have a good singing voice and everyone sang long with him in his gospel songs with a keyboard or a guitar. He gets along with our family so well. So he gets my vote for being the man of my cousin...hahahahaha...

However, there was something interesting that happened. What we did not expect? The whole neighborhood came out to welcome Steve. It was like fiesta and Steve was like a popular figure that everyone wanted to see. Kinda funny but true to Filipinos. When we see white people, we always like to say hi and smile not just because we are curious on how white people looks like, or because we have a high regards to them, but basically, Filipinos are naturally friendly and hospitable which makes any foreigner and tourist like the Philippines and the Filipinos so much.

Viva Senior San Miguel Iligan City Fiesta Diyandi Fiesta 2007

2007-10-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

September 29, 2007 - Senior San Miguel De Archangel Iligan City Fiesta Diyandi Festival 2007!!!

A Letter From A Concern TS

2007-09-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

Kamusta? ( How are you?)

I was browsing this site when I came across your profile and your BLOG that is linked to it...

I just have few concerns about the term SHEMALE & LADYBOY

The word "ladyboy" has been popularized by the sex industry and is not in anyway a politically empowering term - it even works against us(TG). It's the Asian equivalent of the equally horrible term "shemale". Moreover, ladyboy has not been used in my Philippines until recently. And yes, it's being used by those who are engaged in prostitution. Calling yourself a "ladyboy" simply signals a foreigner that you're a prostitute. I'm a Filipina, and I am just sick and utterly fed up of being viewed, portrayed, and treated as a prostitute. And a lot of transexual women who do not engage themselves to prostitution does not want to be referred to as LADYBOY & SHEMALE. It's a very degrading and dehumanizing word for us.

So your caption "Do's And Don'ts IN Dating A Filipina Ladyboy/TS/Shemale" only implies that ALL Filipina transexual women are sex workers. I would just like to correct you and request to stop using that term if you are not in the prostitution business. More so, this will further increase your understanding & knowledge about yourself and the other transexual women in and off-shore. There are Transgendered rights activist group in the Philippines who surely will agree with me. You look like a bright girl yourself and Im pretty sure will understand my concerns.

Thank you for your time and goodluck with your search.

Pauline

My reply:

Hi Pauline,

I am very thankful about your information. I really do not know that the term ladyboy/shemale are used by those who are engaged in prostitution. The term TG, TS, TV are not popular here in our country that is why many of today's "girly bading" (feminine gays/tg/ts) in the Philippines call themselves as ladyboy or shemale without the knowledge that the term is degrading. The reason why the term has become accepted in the Philippines is because we do not have any translations of TG/TV/TS in our language. Therefore, gaymen, silahis (bi), and tg's like us are all called "bading" or "bakla" in the Philippine culture. And take note, these Filipino words "bading," "bakla," and "bayot" are translated as "gay" in the English language.

I asked a lot of my friends ( foreign and local) about it but they also do not know about the term being implied as sex workers. But anyway...i am very thankful for your concern. And of course i am not into prostitution. I am with our empowerment and so i promise that from now on i will never call myself and all the other tg's around the world with that term.

Thank you so much...

Blossom

Transgenderism 101

2007-09-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Nancy R. Nangeroni, for the International Foundation of Gender Education, defines Transgender person as "someone whose gender display, at least sometimes, runs contrary to what other people in the same culture would normally expect." Transgender people come in several flavors:

MtF (male to female) : born male but see themselves as partly to fully feminine.

FtM (female to male): born female but see themselves as partly to fully masculine.

Intersexed: born with a combination of male and female phsysiology (similar to hermaphrodite).

Sexual Orientation vs. Gender Identity vs. Sexual Indentity

Sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual identity are independent of each other. A person may express any variation of each of these in any combination. To discourage the free expression of identity and orientation by an individual to impose a damaging burden of conformity. Sexual orientation is which sex you find erotically attractive: opposite (hetero), same (homo), or both (bi). Sexual identity is how you see yourself physically: male, female, or in between. If someone is born male, but wishes to see their body as a female in all respects, their sexual identity is female. Gender identity is how you see yourself socially: man, woman, or a combination of both. One may have a penis but prefer to relate socially as a woman, or one may gave a vagina but prefer to relate as a man. One might prefer to be fluid, relating sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman. Or one might not identify either as one, relating androgynously.

Definition of Terms

People tend to categorize themselves. This identification can be helpful in finding like-minded others with whom to make friends, but it can be hurtful if impose on an individual on others, well-intentioned or not. In relating to transgender people, it is best to avoid pushing an individual to choose a category for themselves. Some folks prefer to explore the fringes of category, and such push for identification works against personal exploration and fulfillment. Transgender people have self-identified as:

Drag Queen. Female-emulating male, usually campy, often (not always) gay.

Butch. Masculine-appearing person.

Femme. Feminine-appearing person.

Drag King. Male-emulating woman.

Intersex. Person born with mixed sexual physiology. Often 'assigned' at birth, such practice is coming under well-founded attack as a hurtful violation of a person's wellbeing.

Transvestite. Person who enjoys wearing clothes identified with the opposing gender, often but not always straight.

Crossdresser. Polite term for transvestites.

Transgenderist. Person who lives as gender opposite to anatomical sex, i.e. person with penis living as a woman. Sexual orientation varies. Androgyne. Person appearing and identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.

Transsexual. Person whose sexual identity is opposite to their assignment at birth. Not all TS folk undergo 'sex reassignment surgery' (SRS), for various reasons, including personal preference. Sexual orientation varies.

Transgender Community. A loose association pf people whose transgress gender norms in a wide variety of ways.

(courtesy of Gender Talk at www.gendertalk.com)

A Day Of My Life...

2007-08-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

It is a new day and everything seems so quite. The place is greener than yesterday and the flowers are blooming beautifully. I am happy to see all the things at peace. I can feel the wind as it touches my face and it gives me a warm embrace. The butterflies that hop from flower to flower give me a glimpse of hello. They have never been so colorful. The birds that are showing off their wings sing and dance to the bluest sky. And the melody of the river fills the finishing touch.

Noon time, the sun is majestic. He spreads its hot rays in everything underneath him. I hide under the mango tree that offers me her sweet ripeness. I pick her fruit and taste her lusciousness. While the scenery entertains me with its wonderful picture, the wind still stalks me with its touches. As it continues to kiss me all over, my eyes are starting to rest for a journey of enchanting dreams.

The song of the crickets wakes me up in the dusk time. It is the magic hour. The sun is saying goodbye and the moon starting to glow. The stars are already dancing in the sky. I start to feel the earth again and heads toward back home. The lamp is waiting to be lit so I pour the power on her, then slowly, it lightens the whole place. My mind draws to think about how great my day was. It gives a smile in my face. As I open the window to watch the sight again, I see the place so different from this morning. Yes, I celebrated the daylight with overwhelming feelings together with nature but the evening welcomes me into a sad reality. Not because it is dark, but because it shows to my very eyes, that the night time is so perfect if you have someone to share it with.

Now, i am sad again...

A Shemale As Always A Woman

2007-07-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

She's Always A Woman To Me by Billy Joel is a beautiful song that contains a very wonderful lines on how to understand and treat a woman. I use this song in my video bcoz the lyrics are the best words to describe how a transexual like me regards herself as a woman and should be treated and be understood as also a woman. With this song, i am hoping to open every person's mind and heart to treat a Shemale/Ladyboy/TS as always a Woman in every way...

LaDyBoY iN ReD

2007-07-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

Why Red?

Because Red is a very interesting color. While others define it as the color of war, for me it is the color of Love and Lust. Red roses symbolizes passion. Red lipstick makes your lips pout and kissable. Red nails are seducing. Red dress is hot. Red silk is sensual. The color Red makes me in the mood for anything warm and wild. It is a very powerful color.

There are several reasons why i wear Red. Sometimes it depends on what i am feeling or on what i want to feel. I wear Red when:

I am In Love

I also wear red accent pieces when I want to present myself as bold and dynamic. It can boost my confidence if I am attending a function or interview where I feel unsure of myself.

I need to grab attention and to get people to take action.

I don't want to sink into the background.

I need an increased of enthusiasm and interest.

I need more energy

motivate me to have action and confidence to go after my dreams.

protection from fears and anxieties.

attracts good luck in my life.

People may have different reasons why they wear red. Some hates it, some likes it. For some it is for good uses, but there are others that express their pains, hatred, and violent disapproval through using the red color. There are even few that doesn't care about meaning of the colors. But with all our reasons, beliefs, and significance in using red color, one thing is very important..."the rainbow, that gives us the sign for a beautiful day ahead, can never be as beautiful without the color Red."

thanks to about.com and crystal-cure.com for some of the thoughts

Dos and Don'ts In Dating A Filipina Ladyboy/TS/Shemale

2007-07-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys!! Are you interested in dating a Filipina Ladyboy/ TS/ Shemale in the Philippines? If yes, then learn the things you need to do and the things you need not to do for you to sweep her feet off the ground on the very first date. Here are some of the dos and don't s in dating a Filipina Ladyboy:

1. Do open the purpose on dating her. Filipina Ladyboys/TS are very emotional. They easily like and fall to someone who shows care and treats them well. But if you are just dating her for sex purposes then show her your purpose slowly and in a very kind manner. And if you are dating her because you really are interested in her, then the first thing you need to do is to show her what you really feel and hit her in her heart from the start.

= Do not get too serious on your date if you are only interested in sex. She might get hurt to find out that her impressions about you are wrong. But still, provide her a nice and wonderful date for that will be the only thing she might think worth keeping for.

2. Do chose a good clothes to wear for you to look presentable. Filipina Ladyboys are conciously fashionable, and so at least, you need to look good when you are with her. What i mean about good clothes is wearing something comfortable and updated at the same time - a casual wear. Nice shirt, good pair of jeans, and the right shoes to wear is already a go go!

=Do not wear motley or very colorful and neon shirts- that is not impressive in their eyes.

3. Do ask her where to go. She wants to go places where she feels safe and accepted. And when you want to go out for fun, she definitely knows where to head out. But if you want to bring her to places where she have never been to, make her feel comfortable and tell her how great she looks!

= Do not bring her to places that can bore her or makes her feel out of place. Or else, you wont get to win her yes.

4. Do ask her anything worth talking for. Filipina ladyboys are intelligent people and can carry a meaningful conversation. Asking her about how she becomes a ladyboy or anything about your curiosity in her identity is not new to her and wont make you any different from all the other guys. So for you to impress her, chose a different topic that is not related on her being a ladyboy.

= Do not establish a doctor- client atmosphere, or something like an interview portion on a tv program where she feels your curiosity about ladyboys. Remember, you are in a date not in a research study. Ask her about her dreams and interest in life instead.

5. Do show her that you are a good provider. Your generosity will make her feel important and of value to you. Filipina Ladyboys/TS are longing for a lavish life because of less job opportunities due to discrimination and of the poor condition of living in the Philippines. So therefore, by showing that you are stable enough to give her a worthy date, that will make her more interested on you.

= Do not spoil her too much but just be responsible enough to make the date worth remembering for.

6. Do show an interest to her interest. Try to appreciate the things she can do and acknowledge her abilities and potentialities. In that way, she will think that you are really interested in her and that you are going to be proud of whatever she is and she will be.

= Do not make her feel that is she nothing compare to you. If you have all the achievements in life, you can tell her about it but not in an intimidating way. Show her what you got but be humble enough to appreciate the things she have and she can do even it is not as great as what you have.

7. Do keep yourself real. Be true to yourself and show her the real you. She will truly appreciate that.

= Do not pretend someone who you are not. Filipina Ladyboys are very keen in observing someone's personality. So when she catches something fake to your words and gestures, expect a fake response in return.

What Makes Gay People Happy People?

2007-07-16T03:45:00.000-07:00

Most of us think that gay people are always happy people. The fact is, they are not always happy and it is always been the same with straight people. Gays are like comedian on stage performing to make the audience laugh and be entertained. But after the shows, gays are back to their real world where problems are over loaded and often end up hiding and crying. As much as possible, gays try to avoid dramas in life so they engage in other activities that can help them escape from all the burdens they are carrying. They are very flexible that can change one mood directly to another mood. Most especially when gay friends are around, there is never a dull moment when a circle of gay friends bond together. But, do you ever wonder why gay people are happy people? Here are some of things that gays usually do to enjoy life and be happy:

Sex Talks- As what I have observed, it is normal for everyone to talk about sex. People in the same sexes when together usually ends up talking about their experiences. So there is also no excuse for gay people to talk about sex, and in fact, it is always the main course whenever and wherever gays may be. No matter how many times you talk about it, sex is always an interesting subject to discuss. Gays are intrigue basically about: Who he was? What’s the size? How did you do it? How was he in bed? And often times, well, most of the gays I know, exaggerate events to make the story more interesting and funny. Every gay are expected to share their very own sex experience.

Night Out Fun –Staying Friday and Saturday night in the house with nothing to do is the most boring part of a gay life. So gays zest up on these nights, wear their best party clothes and then get ready for the plan of all night partying and dancing. Is it true that gays and fun are twin sisters? Well, I believe that because if you are looking for fun, just find out where the gays are going! They go out to a new bar opening or go to their favorite bars hoping and praying that there will be lots of guys going too. Gays love the atmosphere where there is music and alcohol. They just drink and drink one after another shot, set their feet for the dance, then hook up with a guy easily, and later on, might exchange you for his new found friend. Just expect the “Thank you for the night, friend” on the next day with their hang over.

Men Hunting – Ask your gay friend where is the best place to spend time where you can enjoy the moment even while just sitting. Gays are fond with crowded places where they can feast their eyes with good looking guys around. While you see them not moving that much, it is the eyes that move around as if investigating every person in the area. Their eyes are the busiest part of their body. The sense of sight are well developed that it easily catch attractive guys and will only rest when the right one is found The more hot guys around the better mood for the gays, and unfortunately, the next problem you’ll have is when will be the time to move out?

Critics Alert! – In connection to “men hunting” where you just stay in one place for longer time, gays also stay in a place for a while because they are fond of criticizing people. It is one of their bad attitudes but they can never help it, it naturally comes out from them. Maybe the discrimination of the society influences they way they are. The bashings and humiliation they receive while growing up are one of the factors why a gay posses attitudes like this. It is the judgment of the people that made them judge the people. The more negative the criticisms are, the funnier it is for the gays. All I can say is: Watch Out! Hehehehehe!

Sex, Sex and more Sex – They said that gays are promiscuous. A gay can go finish a night with two or more sex partners. Other gays indulge in sex orgy that involves many guys having sex together in one place at one time. I believe that exhibition and adventure are instinct to gays because even a gay is shy or silent, it is surprising to see him become exhibitionist and adventurous during an intercourse. Gays can make every corner of the bed and all the walls in the room as a good spot for sex. Gay sex does not appreciate shyness and dullness. What makes it great is there are two partners who know well what things to do during sex to satisfy each other. Sex is one of the things that make a gay happy. A healthy sex life, is a happy life.

Love Offering – Gays basically look for love. The fact that the society does not fully accepted gays yet and wherever you are in the world people will always say things when seeing gay lovers holding hands in public, then, there will always be gays who are afraid to show their true selves and affections because they are scared of the judgments around. There is always hunger for true and everlasting love because there are no great gay love stories to tell when it comes to forever lasting relationship just like the straight people do. If there are, sadly, it is unheard and straight people do not think about it much. Though one film made a noise, thank you “Broke Back Mountain” for helping the world opens their eyes about gay love stories. It was indeed a phenomenon. It makes every gay be proud of being gay. When it comes to love, expect the best from the gays. So, when a gay finds true love, well, just like any other people in this world, would be so happy in his life. But when love hurt a gay’s feelings, friends should be there for him. Be with him in the ups and downs in every relationship he have. Offer your shoulder to every cry he makes. Give him your best advices and always open your heart for him no matter what. For he knows, he is secure whenever he is with you and the only thing that will matter in the end, the only thing that can make him so happy as a person, is to have the genuine LOVE he can only find in a true friend.

Top Myths About Bisexual Men

2007-07-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Homosexuals and heterosexuals alike often misunderstand the nature of bisexuality. The thought of a person that is attracted to both men and women can be confusing and frequently leads to misconceptions and stereotypes. Below are the top 5 myths about bi men.

Bisexuality Is Only a Phase

For years the gay community has challenged heterosexuals who publicly state that homosexuality is only a phase. Bisexuals face the same generalization from both the gay and straight community. Many bisexuals are completely in touch with their emotions and desires for members of both sexes and often feel limited by the thought of attraction to only a man or woman. Emotional connections often take precedence when bisexuals pursue a potential partner. Bisexuality is just as much of a natural preference as homosexuality and heterosexuality.

Bi Men Have to Choose To Be Either Gay or Straight

Bisexuals are attracted to both men and women on both an emotional and physical level. Some "lean straight" (meaning they prefer a member of the opposite sex, but same sex partners are always an option) and others "lean gay" (which means they prefer members of the same sex, but would consider a relationship with a member of the opposite sex). Nonetheless, they are not simply gay or straight and definitely do not have to choose.

Bisexual Men are Sexually Confused

A common misconception in both the gay and heterosexual communities is that bisexuals are sexually confused and cannot make up their minds which sex they like. However, that's the whole point- bisexuals are attracted to both sexes and are in many cases more clear about their sexuality than most others.

Bisexual Men Will Never Marry

Alongside the thought that bisexual men and women are sexually confused is the myth that they will never be able to settle on a partner of any sex. In many cases bisexuals put a lot of emphasis on emotional connections with either sex. This in mind, the opportunity for them to find a life partner is just as viable as it is for a heterosexual or homosexual. However, since same-sex marriage isn't legal in most places of the world, only a heterosexual marriage in most places will be recognized by law.

Bi Men are Sexually Promiscuous

Bisexuals are no more promiscuous than any others. Promiscuity (or frequent sex with multiple partners) depends on the individual irrespective of their sexual preference. However, liking both sexes increases a bisexual's chances of a sexual encounter or potential relationship (by shear numbers alone).

gaylife.about.com

A Letter To A Gay Friend

2007-07-11T13:00:00.001-07:00

Dearest Alvin,

I was at the height of a confrontation with my dad when Natty called up and informed me that you were slashing your wrist after you found out that your boyfriend is now living with another gay. I tried my best to take it lightly however; I couldn’t help but feel terribly shocked especially so when I learned that the other gay used to be your close friend. This is the reason why I am writing you because I want to tell you that it is not yet the end of the world and that your beloved Danny Boy is not worth taking your life.

I really don’t understand what had been happening to our circle these past few days. Just last week, our gay friends came to me and cried to me their madness at the world. I hope you already know about Mcrae who, behind her being multi Miss Gay titlist, always receive bad words from his overly jealous boyfriend every time she is seen talking to another man. Here was Frederick who begged me to help her because her darling PJ is being courted by a gay professor. Ryan on the other hand, complained because Jay-Ar has not courted her yet after she has spent all her savings for her beauty regiments.

Wouldn’t you asked me about Dimple? He had been confining his self inside his room and has not yet been attending his classes lately because on his frustrations with Karl. Of course I don’t want you to mind Rene and Natty who always flaunt their virginity (as if we care?) because opposite to them are Weng and Roland who always take sex as a staple food. See how colorful our loves are? We’re just sharing our sentiments anyway!

My dear sister, I understand how painful and difficult it is on your part to go through such emotional nightmare. I know very well how much you love him and how much you give your life to him. In fact, I had been a witness to those many times when you had several ulcer attacks because you had to wait for him until midnight without eating anything so you could have dinner together but, only to be told that he could not go home because he was with his friends, enjoying the night over bottles of beer. I could not forget the many Sunday mornings when you were not feeling well but you had got out of bed and bear washing his bundle of vomit-smelling clothes. I knew you bought most of those as your gift for him. And worst, I could still see your tears and feel your worries every time he got sick and you would chose to miss your classes just to take care of him.

However, I don’t want you to regret your love for Danny Boy. Having love him the way is just normal for us gays because that is our nature of loving men. Gays have the high tendencies of falling inlove easily when men make us believe that we are important to them. We are also brave risk-takers for if we decide to love we give our life whole heartedly. Perhaps this is one reason why men take advantage if us because they believe it is our weakness. But, they just don’t know that deep in our hearts is an overwhelming victory as we take the gay pride of providing to everybody that we are normal individuals who have the capacity to love and whose capacity to love transcends all the earth’s boundaries.

Thus, let me tell you that committing suicide is the most stupid thing that you would have ever done in your life. Danny does not deserve you and his now living with another gay does not make you a less person either. It’s his loss not yours. Your love for him was one proof that you can be a great lover, even a better lover than straight men and women. With the experience, you’ll surely become a well adjusted gay individual whose life can be so much better than those who went through exchanging marriage vows and suddenly broke up, better than those who pretend that their families are happy and intact, better than those wives whose husbands secretly hang out with men during their free time, better than those who use the Bible as instrument to get themselves closer to men, and most of all, so much better than those narrow minded preachers who wrongly judge us because of their ignorance to the fact that gays are people who can be happy, loving, and of value of society.

Finally, I want you to know that there is so much more in life that we have to live for. You’re still young and I want you to sail on, continue to love again, and follow your heart’s desires. Just bear in mind that nobody, not even straight males and females, is guaranteed a perfect relationship. And if you’ll get hurt again, just accept it and be grateful with it. Joe D Mango once wrote that we should be thankful and happy, not because we lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling live in our hearts and made us happy.

Good Luck Sister!

With love,

Ate V

This letter was written by my college adviser, Prof. Arthur Pizzaro, for his very good friend who had problems of love that time. It was published in the Special February Edition of our Official College Newsletter “Cassayuran” Mindanao State University – Iligan Institute of Technology in the section “Familiar Faces, Hidden Lives.”

How To Win A TS or Shemale’s Heart

2007-07-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

A Transgender or Shemale is commonly define as a “Woman trapped in a Man’s body.” The fact that we are Woman just inside a man’s body, we want to be treated as what is a real woman should be. If you are treating us like a woman then we are going to respond the same way. We want to feel safe with a man who we love and who we wanted to be loved. There is an essence of femininity inside us so we just don’t look merely for sex, but a sex tied up with love. Transsexuals are more feminine than real females. With the new generations of females nowadays, who are independent, assertive, argumentative, and are pain in the ass, we, shemales are more traditional when it comes to love and sex. A guy would love to date TS because we have far better understanding to what is it means to be male than any other real girl will. We know where and what to satisfy a man.

We, TS/TV/Shemale look for a guy who loves and appreciate us. What we look in a guy is also what any woman wants in a guy. So if a guy would want to develop a relationship with TS, it’s just the same way with how you approach a real woman. But we are more special than any other girl. So here are some things a guy needs to know how to treat TS special to win her very heart:

Flower Power – Offer her flowers not a dick. If you want her to believe you really got good intentions on her then you should try to make her feel pretty like a flower.

Dinner Date – Any girl would love to go on a dinner date and that is what any ts do like too. With a beautiful ambiance, good food, great wine, and nice talk, a ts would really think its one of her most memorable experience.

Do not treat her like a freak - Treat her like any other girls you used to date with. Do not make her feel anything that will suspect her about you if you just going on a date with her because of curiosity. And if your interest is really genuine then you should be true to your feelings. Tell her how special she is and treat her nicely.

Be a gentleman – Be gentle with her emotions. Do not focus your conversation about TS issues because it happens all the time. Instead, try to talk about her likes and interest in life. TS fully expects her dates to ask her about inappropriate- sex or TS related questions because that is what usually that happens. But this time, do not bring up the subject, most likely, that will surprise her and that will make a big impression.

Understand her - Odds are, if a ts is taking hormones, expect mood swings. The TS pre-op may still have a dick, but psychologically she’s a girl.

Lastly, respect how a TS regard herself – TS respond as a woman, therefore she regards herself as a woman. She wants to immerse herself into something warmly and clearly feminine, which accounts for the clearly feminine clothing and heels. A man who respect and appreciate her femaleness, accept and love her is in for a huge benefit. He will be on the receiving end of a whole lot of attention, affection, and desires.

Good luck on your search for the right TS for you. Just let her feel all your love and you will get more than what you give in return. And remember this, A TS’s often have a better understanding of what men want, a better grip on how to be female.

tsgirlfriend.com thanks for some of the thoughts

Gay Pride Gay Power

2007-07-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

LGBT pride events are a great place to meet other gay people, learn about the history of LGBT rights and rally for LGBT equality. March in a parade near you or just join the crowd. The 2007 LGBT pride events promise to be more invigorating than ever!

What is Gay Pride?

Gays in a growing number of cities and countries participate in annual parades, festivals and events collectively called gay pride. Most gay prides span from a few days to over a week and are filled with dances, volunteer and social events and highly publicized parades. These pride events are organized by local charities or volunteer organizations.

History of Gay Pride

The first gay pride parade in 1969, known as the March on Stonewall, started as a protest against discrimination and violence against gays in New York City. Today, pride events have become an annual ritual and have grown to include thousands of gay and gay-friendly participants, not to mention hundreds of spectators.

Many gays and lesbians dress in bright colors, head-to-toe leather or sometimes next to nothing. But regardless of the attire, all of the participants join the festivities to remind the world that gays deserve the same rights as others and people should be free to live their own lifestyle, void of judgement or hate. Gay pride is also a symbol of solidarity and an opportunity to express the vivid personalities which reflect the diverse gay communities throughout the world. During this time (and in many places year round), the skies are covered with the gay pride flags and banners, the symbol of gay solidarity and freedom.

Meaning and History of The Gay Pride or Rainbow Flag

The gay pride flag was designed by Gilbert Baker and debuted at the 1978 San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day Parade. It's inspiration came from the black civil rights and hippie movements. Each color on the gay pride flag has as different meaning. Test your knowledge below.

Rainbow Pride Flag

RED = Life

ORANGE = Healing

YELLOW = Sun

GREEN = Nature

ROYAL BLUE = Harmony

VIOLET = Spirit

Adding a black stripe to the bottom of the flag represents victory over AIDS. It can also signify leather daddy pride.

Join Gay Pride! Tell the World Who You Are and Have Gay Days for the Rest of Your Life!

gaylife.about.com

Gay Translations

2007-07-05T22:26:00.000-07:00

Every one of us can read between the lines and can easily understand what one phrase would mean when spoken in a different way. These lines are commonly use by everyone, everywhere. But you do ever wonder what do these lines mean to the gays? Here are some of the gay translations in some phrases that we often used:

I want a commitment.
= I'm sick of masturbation.

Haven't I seen you before?
= Nice ass.

I need you.
= My hand is tired.

You're the only man I've ever cared about.
= You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.

I'm a Romantic.
= I'm poor.

I really want to get to know you better.
= So I can tell my friends about it.

It's just orange juice, try it.
= 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head.

He's kinda cute.
= I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue!

He's not my type.
= He won't sleep with me.

I miss you so much
= I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good.

I had a wonderful time last night.
= Who the hell are you?

Do you love me?
= I've done something stupid and you might find out.

Do you 'really' love me?
= I've done something stupid and you're going to find out.

I'll give you a call.
= I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.

I've been thinking a lot.
= You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.

I think we should just be friends.
= You're ugly.

I've learned a lot from you.
= Next!!!!

jokeyard.com

A TS LOVE...

2007-07-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

After feeling the pains of a broken heart in our last relationships, we always say Love Really Hurts. Sometimes we make promises to never get easy on love again and we should be very careful the next time we fall inlove. But why do we still get hurt even in our new relationships? Questions like this should never be asked if you feel love and thus should be accepted first and foremost. Because when it comes to TS, Love and Pain comes the same. Guys can easily take advantage on us because they know that when we love we give our all. Most of the times, we take all the pains just to make the relationship keep going. But still it is us who are suffering and left alone.

First of all, when you look for love you must also be ready for the pain that comes together with it. The only problem about us, TS, is we give so much focus on the pains we experienced. We cry over days and weeks and tell every friend how hurt we are with our currently done relationships. Yes, being hurt is nature to man. But it doesn’t mean it is the only thing you had on your relationship. Why do we always make the pain as the main thing? The truth is Pain is just a little part of Love. There is still a big part that we refuse to recall because our hearts are still aching. Why not try to remember how inlove you were? How you did all the things you did just for the one you love? By doing that, you will come realize how great your love was. That crying over someone who hurt you is not what is your love is all about. And when you will realize that you are capable of giving genuine love, you will know it is not your loss. And that is all that matters. For you will never be completely human without knowing what Love is.

When one relationship ends, we think we would never love again. We put in our heads that being unattached again will make our lives more enjoyable. We get to go out where we want to go and can meet new people, partying like a bitch, have many men, more fun, more and more! We do these things because we want to avoid the possibility of loving once again. We think that looking for fun and playing around is the best way to forget about love. And as we go on like this for longer times, we tend to forget that we are capable of love and loving. Why love and get hurt when there is life full of fun without being inlove?

Everything in life changes when it is time to change. In a ts life, fun is our sister. We bitch around because we feel it is nature to us. And I know we are all wrong about it. There will be a time when your eyes will get dizzy of the disco lights, throats will be soaked with so much liquors, noses will sneeze out because of too much cigarettes, ears will be deaf by the constant beat of techno music and feet will become too lazy to dance....There will come a time that we will get tired of having fun, only fun and nothing else.

We all know that there is something lacking within us when there is no love around. We know that we are not totally happy without it. And when we recall our lives during the time we were with someone, it will definitely bring a smile to our faces and would probably say –“I know what I am missing”...Love truly completes our Happiness...

We should open our hearts again for everything that will come into our lives just to feel love once more. With no rushing and no hard trying, we will meet someone who will electrify us just like the feeling when we felt love for the very first time. Yes there is no assurance if he will be the right one. We knew that there are so many things to sacrifice...to give up...and to adjust for a new relationship to work, but just believe in what your heart will tell you -"Love with no questions, no fears and no rules...Just go on and do what you think that can make you happy...for love, even it hurt you before, made you cry and suffer...still it is LOVE"...

Listening to your heart will always prize you with a happy love life if you are sure that you are willing to give the best of it. Do not regret anything by following your heart. Going out for fun is always there but LOVE comes rare. The moment you feel it you should go for it!! You will come to learn that it is worth trying for and even you will have a million times of tries, you should never stop trying. Have faith that there is someone who are meant to be with you in your lifetime because that is what TS love is all about. It is all about patience, understanding, and caring.

TS are very special people when our lovers know how special we are. We long for LOVE and belongingness in a society where we are usually treated not equal. We look for security to a person that can make us feel worthwhile. When we feel that there is love, we stay. And in return to the love we receive, we give our unconditional love that goes beyond the boundaries of the stars. While it is true that Fun and TS are sisters, it is also true that Love and TS are twins. So when you truly love TS, you can definitely have both LOVE and FUN at the same time. And by that, i am proud to say that a TS LOVE is indeed the GREATEST LOVE of ALL...

"All for fun, and fun for all!"

2007-06-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Saint John's Day - the 24th of June 2007 fell on Sunday, the best day to spend time for family and friends and of course, for relaxing. All the people were out in the water to celebrate the day when John baptized Jesus Christ in the Jordan River. And since this date became official for the Christians, we go out not just because we only want to swim but also to feel being baptized again. All the beaches and pools were crowded with people having fun with family and friends. I was invited with some friends to go with them to a beach 45 minutes away from home. Thanks to them, i really needed that adventure to have some color in my pale life lately.

When i got there, i was amazed by the beautiful view of the beach. The sky boasted it's glowing blue color that was accented with scattered soft cotton like clouds. The water was crystal clear and was sparkling like diamonds in the middle of the earth. Powdered my feet, the sand was absolutely in its finest form. I felt the softness of the sand with my bare feet and when i laid my back on it for a sun tan moment.

The tress flaunted their green leaves as they followed the direction of the wind gracefully. Then the people, with their smiles and laughter, their voices around talking and singing, their fun time playing under the heat of the sun, and the their bodies soaked in the calm water of the sea - completed the perfect picture of life.

After the pork and fish were grilled, we then hopped all together in the small native cottage that was made of bamboo and cogon grass then we started the feast. The foods were yummy so everyone were definitely filled. With the music that was in tune with our beach happening, we started drinking. My friends with beers and me with tanduay. When the effect of the alcohol heat us up, we found our feet pounding the beat of r & b music and everybody went up to dance. Our cottage was the merriest of all. Well, of course...when gays gather together, expect the unexpected!!!

The adventure would have never been complete without the swimming part. The sea water was such a teaser that it was like was calling us to dive in and spend the fun with it under the heat of the sun. So some of us decided to take the plunge while the sun is still up and enjoyed the swim...

Sun was down and we were not finished yet. As time went longer, we were getting into the mood for more and more fun! Then we decided to have a pageant that showcased the transvestites beauties, talents, and brains. Though I am not one of the candidates, I was the one who organized and hosted the event. And in accordance to nature, the 4 winners were crowned Miss Fire - Aldrina, Miss Water - Rannette, Miss Air - Jonas, and Miss Earth - Jaya. It was dogs bollocks and hilarious!!

Few minutes later, the rain envied our enjoyment and pour her welcome all over the place. Unfortunately, we did not find it overwhelming. Eventhough we left the place empty, we happily brought with us the memories we had on that time and place, and gladly kept them in our hearts. We went home smiling and thanking everyone for the amazing adventure. Now, i am looking forward for what is next ahead! I want to share with you a beautiful thought: "Fun is where it's at. That's why you have to be there."

Today...

2007-06-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday...when the wind was still blowing in the right directions, we can hear our laughter echoed in every ends of the world. Love birds envied us in our entwined. The hum of the leaves serenaded our unity. Everything was so perfect that i even refused to sleep just to watch you in every second of time. The happiness you gave me was the most meaningful and the most precious thing i value and treasure even up to now. That feeling keeps haunting me day and night within a year of struggle and fighting.

Catastrophes of love tested our strong foundation of belongingness. But after many years of holding on, i saw how the solid stone turned slowly into pieces of sand by the consistent hit of deep storms. Then the wind blew us apart...you in the smell of other's breath and me in the company of the wind...wandering...still...wandering...

As quick as lightning, i then saw you smiled with the new promise of love. While you were starting to gather up the broken pieces to build another world, i was left together with the pain of broken dreams. The tears became my friends because they were the only one who were there that listened and witnessed my cries. My heart cannot almost make a beat by the extreme feeling of sadness, loneliness, sorrow and heartaches. If my days were dry and abandoned, my nights were also as cold as the desert of blue lights that even the presence of the scorpions did not affect my sorrows. While the stars were boasting their glittering beauty, i was hidden in the deepest corner of the black hole...alone...wandering...still ...wandering...

Then after a year of crumpled heart, bulging eyes, empty thoughts, tired emotions, false hoping, forever waiting, and deep thinking...the clock then laid her two hands to wake me up from that long bleak nightmare. And now, as i see the sky beginning to lighten up the whole place, i know it is already over. I then believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel...that every inhale you make follows the exhale...that every entrance you go, there is always an exit...that every death, there is also birth...that every night, a new day is expected to come...that every sleep, there is awakening...and that every yesterday...there is TODAY...

Mary Jane

2007-06-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

This is another original composition of mine...i hope you like it...it's a bout drug addiction..the message says: "Save Your Friends..Say No To Drugs"...

Redefined...

2007-06-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

In life, we have two kinds of experiences and generally these experiences are those we treasure and those we regret the most. Some are really good that we wish to go back in those times or wish to experience something like that at the present or in the future. But some experiences are really bad that we can not avoid the mark that it left in our hearts and we religiously wish it never happened. But whatever experiences we had, even with our failures, there are always lessons learned. Happy or Not, we always want something better.

Like for example, if you got a very good long term relationship before, finding a new relationship would be a bit difficult because more often you want something more than what you had. Basically, a better guy is the prefect choice. It goes the same with your career. After leaving one job, you look for a another job that is fullfiling or a job that has a better pay.

Redefining one thing is a normal act of a person. We may have our own definitions of our own desires, but still, there will always be a redefinition of these wants. One experience will help us redesign the things we long for by applying the lessons we learned in the past. As a result, we will come up with another definition of what we want. The point is: Not until we are satisfied with everything in life that we wish for and everything what we already achieved, then all those desires, plans, wants, dreams, and wishes will always be REDEFINED to complete our very own satisfactions and thus, to get the better versions of what we had before. Achieving all these needs maturity and responsibility. If you want to move on and left your past behind then go for it. If you want a better life then start redefining your failures because failures exist to challenge you to aim for the better things. We all deserve a beautiful life in this world. When will we realize that life is too short? And the best time to start redefining and start thinking for what is best for you is now? Make the best of your life while we are still alive, because this may be the one and only chance we have.

Fashion World

2007-06-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

Fashion is life. It grows and nourished within people's lives. Your appearance is the mere reflection of the fashion that lies within you. From your choice of foods to your choices of music, fashion is written all over you. Since the day we realize our existence in this world we already have the influence of fashion from our parents, family, homes and to the society where we belong. People since time immemorial were already conscious with how they would appear to be with others. And until now, Fashion is still alive and even making another "world" for all the "fashionistas". The term fashionista refers to the people who have the habit of changing the style of clothing worn. They are the people who wear clothes that fits for their personality that no matter how simple or how creative it is they still carry it with justice. The term is refer to someone who slavishly follows the current fashions.Fashions may vary significantly within a society according to age, social class, generation, occupation and geography as well as over time. If, for example, an older person dresses according to the fashion of young people, he or she may look ridiculous in the eyes of both young and older people.

As the world is changing so fast, fashion becomes complex and changing too. Fashion, by definition, changes constantly. Young people, most of all, enjoy the changing because they like the idea of trying something new and interesting. Media has a lot of thing to do about how hot fashion is wherever you are in the planet. Magazines, newspapers, television and other form of media are the most effective way to reach every people from different walks of life and from different parts of the world.

Here are some of the fashion quotes from the top fashionistas:

“I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes. I had one thousand and sixty.”
- Imelda Marcos

“A fashion is merely a form of ugliness so unbearable that we are compelled to alter it every six months.”
- Oscar Wilde

“About half my designs are controlled fantasy, 15 percent are total madness and the rest are bread-and-butter designs.”
- Manolo Blahnik

“I don't do fashion, I am fashion.”
- Coco Chanel

“A good model can advance fashion by ten years.”
- Yves Saint Laurent

“I don't design clothes. I design dreams.”
- Ralph Lauren

“The goal I seek is to have people refine their style through my clothing without having them become victims of fashion.”
- Giorgio Armani

In these days, fashion has become the instrument of expressing one self. The clothes they wear allow them to express their emotions and solidarity of other people in millenia. Fashion also influence music. The choices of the songs people like are reflected by what they wear. Rockers, rappers, punks, pop singers and followers have some distinct styles that are different from each group. According to wikipedia.com "One can regard the system of sporting various fashions as a fashion language incorporating various fashion statements using a grammar of fashion."

Friendship song - A Promise

2007-06-16T03:27:00.001-07:00

This song is one of my original songs. It is about genuine feelings toward your friends. I wanted to share it to all to remind you how important friends are in our lives. I would like to dedicated this song to all my friends who makes my life better and better each day. All the words really comes from the bottom of my heart. And i am thankful to have you all....

Regret After Sex

2007-06-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

In our moment of heat we are desperate to have someone to share our bed with. Sometimes fishes are so many that it’s easy to catch the one you like the most. But other times, the ocean is dead and you can’t see any fish you like to hook up for a good swim. Most of the time, you ended up to the person you do not like. What are we suppose to do? Is it alright to kiss someone you do not like just to get laid for the night? Or should we just go home and jaquiline off to pass through the need for intercourse?

We are usually left thinking; do we call the night off or stand the rest of the time to the wrong person? For others, calling it off somewhat means- not completing the day, but it might be the right thing to do. You can do it alone and be in your own world of fantasies wherever it is. It is better to end the night doing it alone than to go on to the person you knew it is not your type. When you are in the mood for sex, you might think it is a good sex because you are within the intercourse, but, how about after the take off? If we may examine clearly, in this case, you are doing sex because you just want a guy for a sex and not because you want sex for that guy. There is a big difference between that. Wanting a guy for a sex is making a guy as an instrument to help you get laid. You do not necessarily care if he fits your type or he is the best looking guy around. You just pick up who is available then that’s it…no strings attached, no feelings involve and even no names introduced. But, wanting sex for “a” guy is another case. It is the feeling of doing it to the guy. This guy fits your taste and basically you are into him. You have an attraction to this guy may it be physically or emotionally making him both the subject and object of your desires.

Personally, I do not want another experience of “regret after sex” where you ask your self again and again why you did it with him? Sometimes we really can not control our selves but it is better to not do it than to regret it after. No matter what, that guy will always be part of your memory and seeing him around will always remind you that fun is not always fun to do. You can forget it but you can not erase it. All the time you see him, the images of the night you were together will definitely flash in your mind. However, with all the experiences in life, we become numb and can easily cover it with wide smiles. But, how many of these are we counting? 1000 guys on the list and three fourth of them are what you regret? They said it is hard to do but if we think deeply, it is very easy. Just do not go to the guy you do not like. And if you find no bets around, then do not hook to the wrong bait. Start going on only with the guys that you like and only to the guys you feel doing it. What will happen most precisely is that you will end up having a list of a potential partners, and, if you do not want to get into a relationship yet, at least it is a good list that can be use for future references. There are a lot of times ahead of us and there are always some beautiful days to go for fishing. You’ll never knew that one of these days, or even sooner that we thought, the right fish might just come along without putting too much effort of looking for it. Remember this: It is more fun to have fun when you are in the right kind of fun!

What's Just Around the Corner...

2007-06-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

Why do we always see the beauty of life only in what is extraordinary? The 7 Wonders of the World and the most beautiful spots on earth are what we often describe as amazing. When we see rich and famous people we almost forget that they are also human like us. We always appreciate what is the extravagant and majestic but we fail to see that the simplest things around us also matters. While Shaw quoted: "Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?" John Ruskin, on the other hand, also quoted: "Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance." I believe that it is true that we often ignore the things we usually see everyday and because of that we also ignore the meaning of their existence. The truth is the simplest and the most useless things are the things that really posses the real beauty of our world but the meanings are drowned by our lack of appreciation with what is plain, usual, ordinary, basic, and simple. Though we go and travel everywhere to look and find the beautiful things we want to see, we must never forget that there is also life and beauty in just around the environment where we live. Confucius once said: "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." And in view of this, i want to share with you the beauty of our world not in the best beaches of the Philippines, or the structures of Europe, or the culture of China, and the jungle of Africa where everyone sees beauty everywhere...but only the beauty in what is just around our very corner...

the candle in the dark

the stuff toys in a room

the lamps in the board walk

a picture of a family

a corner of a place

the sunset in the city

the joy when you're with your friends

the dancing of the coconut tress

a flower in the bushes

a plant wet by rain

If these simple things in life, like the simple smile that can do good to you, or the site of the sunset filled you with joy, or you understand the message of every simple things around you... then you have nourished your being. If you can appreciate the beauty of life even in its simplest form, definitely you have a healthy soul. I'll leave you with one thought: "Live simple, because after all life is simple, you are only the one who complicates it."

*All pictures are photographed by my very good friend Edison Cabanlit...thank you so much for sharing your wonderful art.

Hot Fashion Pick: Denim Forever

2007-06-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

I made this video to show you the evolution of jeans from the 18th century up to the present. In this century, denims are redesigned to make it look more creative and stylish. However, designer jeans are really expensive that it wont convince practically fashionable people with its price. As a result, more people goes to the cheaper brands but still trendy and comfortable to wear. Levis has evolved greatly that even up to now it is still in the hot list as one of the best jeans to wear. I have a couple of Levis jeans and it is one of my favorites jeans to wear when i am out in the sun together with Guess jeans. But whatever style and brand names it maybe, just always stay fashionable in your own way...show up that statement!!

HEAT UP WITH HOT HUNKS!!

2007-06-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

HOLLYWOOD, the home of the most gorgeous men in the world. We see our favorite actors in everything we want to see them. They satisfy in our dreams of beautiful smiles, sharp looks, and hot bodies. We share our emotions with them...and we are inlove with them as we watch every movies they have. Life would be so boring without these men who complete our fantasies. Let them join you in your dreams...

In the parade of these very very hot hunks...i got 10 picks that suit my personal choice of physical beauty...taste of fashion...superb talents...oooozing sex appeals!!!

So brace up and enjoy the moment with MY TOP 10 HOTTEST GUYS....

1. BRAD PITT = sex appeal plus hot body...he got 'em all...sooo veryyy hotttt!!!

2. JOHNNY DEPP = now you tell me you didn't melt with that teasing look in his eyes...papalicioussssss!!

3. TOM CRUISE = the camera loves him...every view of him is a perfect angle...love yeah tommy baby!

4. KEANU REEEVES

= his handsome face tells it all...no one will argue to that...he visits me in my dreams at night...ohhh my dreamssss!!!

5.WENTWORTH MILLER - a FOX!! the kind of guy you want to be with everywhere ...this Prison Break hot hunk knows how to electrified your chair...execute me plsss!!!

6. CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY - if not the hottest, definitely one of the hottest young star today...this boy is the favorite toy of everyone...promising and good looking!!

7. VIN DIESEL = his mucles looks good in him...he got the animalistic appeal...a very manly charisma...bitches hunt him...and im one of them...mmmmmmmm!!

8. JOSH HARTNETT = ohhh josshhh you are the man that can heat up our desires...look at that sizzling appeal!!

9. JUDE LAW = his eyes complete your incompleteness...he is also one of the best dressed actor...i love everything about him...the total package is excellent!

10. ORLANDO BLOOM = my LEGOLAS...with his pretty face...i cant help thinking about him in a day...with his bow and arrow...he hit my heart without escape!!!

No argument is needed...everyone agrees...everyone is on heat with these hit and hot guys...now feel the wild sweat all over you...start the journey of your fantasy...

Sex and the City vs Desperate Housewives

2007-06-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

These two shows are two of the most popular tv series of all time. We love each of the characters and emphatize them. We cry and we laugh with them. They are a HIT to everyone and we know that whatever is a HIT is also what's HOT. Now let us check them out and see who HIT being HOT!!

Worried Heart

2007-06-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

Name a relationship and i got it all...i had a lot of serious relationships that went on for two years and more...name a big fight and i experienced it all...name a kind of a guy and i went through them all...from an intellectual, decent, clean guy...to a boy next door...to the bulliest guy around...call them whatever you want...they had once upon a time loved and cared to a trans like me...

you may say that there are a lot of people who also have experiences like what i had, but i take mine as an exception bcoz my situation is not as easy as the straight and bisexual love affairs that are acceptable, common or hidden...

a Princess Male like me is very noticable that even i just walk on the street, i catch attention all over...some call me names, and there are bashings, some are friendly and some lift eyebrows...this what make us hard to look for true love...it is bcoz the society could not accept people like me whole heartedly...they continue to deny the fact that we are also loving and of value to our society...that we too have the same needs of the non-gay people have...we too need to feel worthwhile...to feel safe...to feel free from harm and suffering...and we too need TO LOVE and BE LOVED...

for me...i would say i am quite an exception to all the agonies of people like me when it comes to LOVE...i wud say i am blessed...having different SERIOUS LOVE AFFAIRS with STRAIGHT GUYS is quite an experience for a gay who lives in a straight dominating society...but you bet...it is so wonderful to feel the touches, care and kisses of a straight man...and nothing will compare about the feelings when HE let everybody see how proud and happy HE IS WITH YOU!!...

oh how happy i was that time!!...

they say the men will always be MEN...and they are born for women...i know and accept that from the start...i know that relationship like i have do not last too long...but if you already are counting years, then that would mean something on a higher level...i may say...quite an achievement for trans like me...i believe that nobody is guaranteed with a perfect relationship...not even the straight people...and that reality lessens my pains...

all the relationships i had ended up bcoz of women...it is a bit acceptabale and too easy for me bcoz the third party is not someone like me...but still PAIN is there...fortunately...it did not make me weak...instead it made STRONG...but as i always feel pain over and over again, unfortunately...it makes me INSENSITIVE...not good for me...that is why i am so worried at this moment of my life...it is already stored in my mind and in my heart that whenever there is love there is also pain...that even you are with a new guy...still you will have the same experiences like you had before...oucchhhh again?!!!...

i thought it is always better to be strong and be a fighter...but we should not always be like that bcoz it will stone our hearts...and that makes me worry so much...that opening it back to welcome somebody new in my life seems to be very hard for me to do...i hope i can get over this...i want to feel love and being loved again...i may not pick up the right guy...i may not have a very good love story with him...people might tell im dumb and blinded...but what matters most, i FEEL LOVE again!!!

i am learning myself to open my heart for LOVE once more...so i can have another love story to tell...and i am happy for this...wish me luck freinds...it might not be as good and as wonderful like what you have...but just listen and feel about how am i going to tell you all about it...

Be Gay Be Happy

2007-06-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

Life is so beautiful and whatever reason it is why you still continue living with it is because of only one thing: HAPPINESS. A big house, new cars, successful businesses, great achievements, wonderful family, and all the things that you want in life are the things that makes you happy. It is true that no person is contented with his life but there are people who are happy with their lives. It is so important that you know what makes you happy because when you know it, you also know where to start and where you plan to head your journey. This is true to all mankind. Happiness do not chose a person. Even the disables, the ill, and the poor have their own way of finding happiness and it doesn't matter if you are black, white or brown…and even if you are straight or gay...

Accepting ones self is the first step to know who you are and what you really are. You will never find happiness when you are confused with your self. Just try to let the real you come out. Never deny, do not hide, do not be scared, and do not lie on what you really like. There maybe a lot of factors to consider that hinders your coming out. Parents are on the top of the things that worry you so much, especially, the father. Personally, I do not know what it is like but I do feel for those who are in the situation. More often they become closeted, queer and discreet. Their emotions, gestures and culture are being controlled by how they appear to be. There are some things to consider why you chose to be like that. Everyone understands whoever is in that kind of situation. But the question is: Up to how long can you be a prisoner of the real you? When will you follow what you want for yourself and forget what your parents or the people around you want them to be who you are? You may become expert in playing that role but you will also regret every single moment of it. Remember, we are getting older and not younger. The more you let others tolerate you with what they want you to become, the more regrets you will have later. We own our own lives. We have the right to live and chose who and what we want to be. Be yourself and be happy. If there are people who are not happy for who you are then they are the people who do not understand you. It is your own choices that really matters. After all it is your own life that you are dealing with. Forget about the concern on what others will say. What is important is YOU are YOU and you are happy with being who you really are.

This time is the right time for you to have a decision that is good for your self. Just think about yourself now. There is nothing wrong about coming out. Expressing oneself is one of the bravest and the most appreciated acts in a man’s life. Tell the world who you are and you will feel unleashed. Be true to your self so that others will know how to deal with you. Being gay is being happy. You will get to enjoy the kind of life it offers. There is nothing compares when you are in the circle. For being gay and being with gays means having life, love, fun...fun...fun…and lots of fun! You will learn how to be strong because in an everyday life of a gay, it is always a challenge to prove yourself how far can you get with all the misjudgment and discrimination around. And when you finally get there…You will be so proud of your self that you made it. In spite that the world is too much mess for gays, we always find a way to laugh and even have an adventure everyday in everything we do. This is what the straight people envy us a lot. While they seem to be very strong and organized, it is them who are really weak when it comes to facing the real troubles in life. But for the gays, because of the discrimination that tails us all the time, we learn how to be a fighter…so when the real problem comes; it is nothing new to us anymore. And by that, we still manage to laugh at it.

It is time to decide for what is good for you now. Express yourself and feel relieved. Life in this world has a lot to offer. So do not let the day gone by, by regretting every moment of it when you pass the places where you want to go and seeing the things you really want to do. The curtain is up now, so come on out and celebrate life! There is nothing happier than being a gay because whatever dictionary you have…it is always the word HAPPY that best defines the meaning of GAY!