A Letter From A Concern TS

Kamusta? ( How are you?)

I was browsing this site when I came across your profile and your BLOG that is linked to it...

I just have few concerns about the term SHEMALE & LADYBOY

The word "ladyboy" has been popularized by the sex industry and is not in anyway a politically empowering term - it even works against us(TG). It's the Asian equivalent of the equally horrible term "shemale". Moreover, ladyboy has not been used in my Philippines until recently. And yes, it's being used by those who are engaged in prostitution. Calling yourself a "ladyboy" simply signals a foreigner that you're a prostitute. I'm a Filipina, and I am just sick and utterly fed up of being viewed, portrayed, and treated as a prostitute. And a lot of transexual women who do not engage themselves to prostitution does not want to be referred to as LADYBOY & SHEMALE. It's a very degrading and dehumanizing word for us.

So your caption "Do's And Don'ts IN Dating A Filipina Ladyboy/TS/Shemale" only implies that ALL Filipina transexual women are sex workers. I would just like to correct you and request to stop using that term if you are not in the prostitution business. More so, this will further increase your understanding & knowledge about yourself and the other transexual women in and off-shore. There are Transgendered rights activist group in the Philippines who surely will agree with me. You look like a bright girl yourself and Im pretty sure will understand my concerns.

Thank you for your time and goodluck with your search.

Pauline


My reply:

Hi Pauline,

I am very thankful about your information. I really do not know that the term ladyboy/shemale are used by those who are engaged in prostitution. The term TG, TS, TV are not popular here in our country that is why many of today's "girly bading" (feminine gays/tg/ts) in the Philippines call themselves as ladyboy or shemale without the knowledge that the term is degrading. The reason why the term has become accepted in the Philippines is because we do not have any translations of TG/TV/TS in our language. Therefore, gaymen, silahis (bi), and tg's like us are all called "bading" or "bakla" in the Philippine culture. And take note, these Filipino words "bading," "bakla," and "bayot" are translated as "gay" in the English language.

I asked a lot of my friends ( foreign and local) about it but they also do not know about the term being implied as sex workers. But anyway...i am very thankful for your concern. And of course i am not into prostitution. I am with our empowerment and so i promise that from now on i will never call myself and all the other tg's around the world with that term.

Thank you so much...

Blossom

Transgenderism 101

Nancy R. Nangeroni, for the International Foundation of Gender Education, defines Transgender person as "someone whose gender display, at least sometimes, runs contrary to what other people in the same culture would normally expect." Transgender people come in several flavors:

• MtF (male to female) : born male but see themselves as partly to fully feminine.

• FtM (female to male): born female but see themselves as partly to fully masculine.

• Intersexed: born with a combination of male and female phsysiology (similar to hermaphrodite).

Sexual Orientation vs. Gender Identity vs. Sexual Indentity

Sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual identity are independent of each other. A person may express any variation of each of these in any combination. To discourage the free expression of identity and orientation by an individual to impose a damaging burden of conformity. Sexual orientation is which sex you find erotically attractive: opposite (hetero), same (homo), or both (bi). Sexual identity is how you see yourself physically: male, female, or in between. If someone is born male, but wishes to see their body as a female in all respects, their sexual identity is female. Gender identity is how you see yourself socially: man, woman, or a combination of both. One may have a penis but prefer to relate socially as a woman, or one may gave a vagina but prefer to relate as a man. One might prefer to be fluid, relating sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman. Or one might not identify either as one, relating androgynously.

Definition of Terms

People tend to categorize themselves. This identification can be helpful in finding like-minded others with whom to make friends, but it can be hurtful if impose on an individual on others, well-intentioned or not. In relating to transgender people, it is best to avoid pushing an individual to choose a category for themselves. Some folks prefer to explore the fringes of category, and such push for identification works against personal exploration and fulfillment. Transgender people have self-identified as:



Drag Queen. Female-emulating male, usually campy, often (not always) gay.

Butch. Masculine-appearing person.

Femme. Feminine-appearing person.

Drag King. Male-emulating woman.

Intersex. Person born with mixed sexual physiology. Often 'assigned' at birth, such practice is coming under well-founded attack as a hurtful violation of a person's wellbeing.

Transvestite. Person who enjoys wearing clothes identified with the opposing gender, often but not always straight.

Crossdresser. Polite term for transvestites.

Transgenderist. Person who lives as gender opposite to anatomical sex, i.e. person with penis living as a woman. Sexual orientation varies. Androgyne. Person appearing and identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.

Transsexual. Person whose sexual identity is opposite to their assignment at birth. Not all TS folk undergo 'sex reassignment surgery' (SRS), for various reasons, including personal preference. Sexual orientation varies.

Transgender Community. A loose association pf people whose transgress gender norms in a wide variety of ways.

(courtesy of Gender Talk at www.gendertalk.com)

A Day Of My Life...

It is a new day and everything seems so quite. The place is greener than yesterday and the flowers are blooming beautifully. I am happy to see all the things at peace. I can feel the wind as it touches my face and it gives me a warm embrace. The butterflies that hop from flower to flower give me a glimpse of hello. They have never been so colorful. The birds that are showing off their wings sing and dance to the bluest sky. And the melody of the river fills the finishing touch.

Noon time, the sun is majestic. He spreads its hot rays in everything underneath him. I hide under the mango tree that offers me her sweet ripeness. I pick her fruit and taste her lusciousness. While the scenery entertains me with its wonderful picture, the wind still stalks me with its touches. As it continues to kiss me all over, my eyes are starting to rest for a journey of enchanting dreams.

The song of the crickets wakes me up in the dusk time. It is the magic hour. The sun is saying goodbye and the moon starting to glow. The stars are already dancing in the sky. I start to feel the earth again and heads toward back home. The lamp is waiting to be lit so I pour the power on her, then slowly, it lightens the whole place. My mind draws to think about how great my day was. It gives a smile in my face. As I open the window to watch the sight again, I see the place so different from this morning. Yes, I celebrated the daylight with overwhelming feelings together with nature but the evening welcomes me into a sad reality. Not because it is dark, but because it shows to my very eyes, that the night time is so perfect if you have someone to share it with.

Now, i am sad again...

A Shemale As Always A Woman

She's Always A Woman To Me by Billy Joel is a beautiful song that contains a very wonderful lines on how to understand and treat a woman. I use this song in my video bcoz the lyrics are the best words to describe how a transexual like me regards herself as a woman and should be treated and be understood as also a woman. With this song, i am hoping to open every person's mind and heart to treat a Shemale/Ladyboy/TS as always a Woman in every way...

LaDyBoY iN ReD

Why Red?

Because Red is a very interesting color. While others define it as the color of war, for me it is the color of Love and Lust. Red roses symbolizes passion. Red lipstick makes your lips pout and kissable. Red nails are seducing. Red dress is hot. Red silk is sensual. The color Red makes me in the mood for anything warm and wild. It is a very powerful color.


There are several reasons why i wear Red. Sometimes it depends on what i am feeling or on what i want to feel. I wear Red when:

• I am In Love

• I also wear red accent pieces when I want to present myself as bold and dynamic. It can boost my confidence if I am attending a function or interview where I feel unsure of myself.

• I need to grab attention and to get people to take action.

• I don't want to sink into the background.

• I need an increased of enthusiasm and interest.

• I need more energy

• motivate me to have action and confidence to go after my dreams.

• protection from fears and anxieties.

• attracts good luck in my life.

People may have different reasons why they wear red. Some hates it, some likes it. For some it is for good uses, but there are others that express their pains, hatred, and violent disapproval through using the red color. There are even few that doesn't care about meaning of the colors. But with all our reasons, beliefs, and significance in using red color, one thing is very important..."the rainbow, that gives us the sign for a beautiful day ahead, can never be as beautiful without the color Red."

thanks to about.com and crystal-cure.com for some of the thoughts

Dos and Don'ts In Dating A Filipina Ladyboy/TS/Shemale

Hey you guys!! Are you interested in dating a Filipina Ladyboy/ TS/ Shemale in the Philippines? If yes, then learn the things you need to do and the things you need not to do for you to sweep her feet off the ground on the very first date. Here are some of the dos and don't s in dating a Filipina Ladyboy:

1. Do open the purpose on dating her. Filipina Ladyboys/TS are very emotional. They easily like and fall to someone who shows care and treats them well. But if you are just dating her for sex purposes then show her your purpose slowly and in a very kind manner. And if you are dating her because you really are interested in her, then the first thing you need to do is to show her what you really feel and hit her in her heart from the start.

• = Do not get too serious on your date if you are only interested in sex. She might get hurt to find out that her impressions about you are wrong. But still, provide her a nice and wonderful date for that will be the only thing she might think worth keeping for.

2. Do chose a good clothes to wear for you to look presentable. Filipina Ladyboys are conciously fashionable, and so at least, you need to look good when you are with her. What i mean about good clothes is wearing something comfortable and updated at the same time - a casual wear. Nice shirt, good pair of jeans, and the right shoes to wear is already a go go!

• =Do not wear motley or very colorful and neon shirts- that is not impressive in their eyes.

3. Do ask her where to go. She wants to go places where she feels safe and accepted. And when you want to go out for fun, she definitely knows where to head out. But if you want to bring her to places where she have never been to, make her feel comfortable and tell her how great she looks!

• = Do not bring her to places that can bore her or makes her feel out of place. Or else, you wont get to win her yes.

4. Do ask her anything worth talking for. Filipina ladyboys are intelligent people and can carry a meaningful conversation. Asking her about how she becomes a ladyboy or anything about your curiosity in her identity is not new to her and wont make you any different from all the other guys. So for you to impress her, chose a different topic that is not related on her being a ladyboy.

• = Do not establish a doctor- client atmosphere, or something like an interview portion on a tv program where she feels your curiosity about ladyboys. Remember, you are in a date not in a research study. Ask her about her dreams and interest in life instead.

5. Do show her that you are a good provider. Your generosity will make her feel important and of value to you. Filipina Ladyboys/TS are longing for a lavish life because of less job opportunities due to discrimination and of the poor condition of living in the Philippines. So therefore, by showing that you are stable enough to give her a worthy date, that will make her more interested on you.

• = Do not spoil her too much but just be responsible enough to make the date worth remembering for.

6. Do show an interest to her interest. Try to appreciate the things she can do and acknowledge her abilities and potentialities. In that way, she will think that you are really interested in her and that you are going to be proud of whatever she is and she will be.

• = Do not make her feel that is she nothing compare to you. If you have all the achievements in life, you can tell her about it but not in an intimidating way. Show her what you got but be humble enough to appreciate the things she have and she can do even it is not as great as what you have.

7. Do keep yourself real. Be true to yourself and show her the real you. She will truly appreciate that.

• = Do not pretend someone who you are not. Filipina Ladyboys are very keen in observing someone's personality. So when she catches something fake to your words and gestures, expect a fake response in return.

What Makes Gay People Happy People?

Most of us think that gay people are always happy people. The fact is, they are not always happy and it is always been the same with straight people. Gays are like comedian on stage performing to make the audience laugh and be entertained. But after the shows, gays are back to their real world where problems are over loaded and often end up hiding and crying. As much as possible, gays try to avoid dramas in life so they engage in other activities that can help them escape from all the burdens they are carrying. They are very flexible that can change one mood directly to another mood. Most especially when gay friends are around, there is never a dull moment when a circle of gay friends bond together. But, do you ever wonder why gay people are happy people? Here are some of things that gays usually do to enjoy life and be happy:

Sex Talks- As what I have observed, it is normal for everyone to talk about sex. People in the same sexes when together usually ends up talking about their experiences. So there is also no excuse for gay people to talk about sex, and in fact, it is always the main course whenever and wherever gays may be. No matter how many times you talk about it, sex is always an interesting subject to discuss. Gays are intrigue basically about: Who he was? What’s the size? How did you do it? How was he in bed? And often times, well, most of the gays I know, exaggerate events to make the story more interesting and funny. Every gay are expected to share their very own sex experience.

Night Out Fun –Staying Friday and Saturday night in the house with nothing to do is the most boring part of a gay life. So gays zest up on these nights, wear their best party clothes and then get ready for the plan of all night partying and dancing. Is it true that gays and fun are twin sisters? Well, I believe that because if you are looking for fun, just find out where the gays are going! They go out to a new bar opening or go to their favorite bars hoping and praying that there will be lots of guys going too. Gays love the atmosphere where there is music and alcohol. They just drink and drink one after another shot, set their feet for the dance, then hook up with a guy easily, and later on, might exchange you for his new found friend. Just expect the “Thank you for the night, friend” on the next day with their hang over.

Men Hunting – Ask your gay friend where is the best place to spend time where you can enjoy the moment even while just sitting. Gays are fond with crowded places where they can feast their eyes with good looking guys around. While you see them not moving that much, it is the eyes that move around as if investigating every person in the area. Their eyes are the busiest part of their body. The sense of sight are well developed that it easily catch attractive guys and will only rest when the right one is found The more hot guys around the better mood for the gays, and unfortunately, the next problem you’ll have is when will be the time to move out?

Critics Alert! – In connection to “men hunting” where you just stay in one place for longer time, gays also stay in a place for a while because they are fond of criticizing people. It is one of their bad attitudes but they can never help it, it naturally comes out from them. Maybe the discrimination of the society influences they way they are. The bashings and humiliation they receive while growing up are one of the factors why a gay posses attitudes like this. It is the judgment of the people that made them judge the people. The more negative the criticisms are, the funnier it is for the gays. All I can say is: Watch Out! Hehehehehe!

Sex, Sex and more Sex – They said that gays are promiscuous. A gay can go finish a night with two or more sex partners. Other gays indulge in sex orgy that involves many guys having sex together in one place at one time. I believe that exhibition and adventure are instinct to gays because even a gay is shy or silent, it is surprising to see him become exhibitionist and adventurous during an intercourse. Gays can make every corner of the bed and all the walls in the room as a good spot for sex. Gay sex does not appreciate shyness and dullness. What makes it great is there are two partners who know well what things to do during sex to satisfy each other. Sex is one of the things that make a gay happy. A healthy sex life, is a happy life.

Love Offering – Gays basically look for love. The fact that the society does not fully accepted gays yet and wherever you are in the world people will always say things when seeing gay lovers holding hands in public, then, there will always be gays who are afraid to show their true selves and affections because they are scared of the judgments around. There is always hunger for true and everlasting love because there are no great gay love stories to tell when it comes to forever lasting relationship just like the straight people do. If there are, sadly, it is unheard and straight people do not think about it much. Though one film made a noise, thank you “Broke Back Mountain” for helping the world opens their eyes about gay love stories. It was indeed a phenomenon. It makes every gay be proud of being gay. When it comes to love, expect the best from the gays. So, when a gay finds true love, well, just like any other people in this world, would be so happy in his life. But when love hurt a gay’s feelings, friends should be there for him. Be with him in the ups and downs in every relationship he have. Offer your shoulder to every cry he makes. Give him your best advices and always open your heart for him no matter what. For he knows, he is secure whenever he is with you and the only thing that will matter in the end, the only thing that can make him so happy as a person, is to have the genuine LOVE he can only find in a true friend.

Top Myths About Bisexual Men

Homosexuals and heterosexuals alike often misunderstand the nature of bisexuality. The thought of a person that is attracted to both men and women can be confusing and frequently leads to misconceptions and stereotypes. Below are the top 5 myths about bi men.

Bisexuality Is Only a Phase

For years the gay community has challenged heterosexuals who publicly state that homosexuality is only a phase. Bisexuals face the same generalization from both the gay and straight community. Many bisexuals are completely in touch with their emotions and desires for members of both sexes and often feel limited by the thought of attraction to only a man or woman. Emotional connections often take precedence when bisexuals pursue a potential partner. Bisexuality is just as much of a natural preference as homosexuality and heterosexuality.


Bi Men Have to Choose To Be Either Gay or Straight

Bisexuals are attracted to both men and women on both an emotional and physical level. Some "lean straight" (meaning they prefer a member of the opposite sex, but same sex partners are always an option) and others "lean gay" (which means they prefer members of the same sex, but would consider a relationship with a member of the opposite sex). Nonetheless, they are not simply gay or straight and definitely do not have to choose.


Bisexual Men are Sexually Confused

A common misconception in both the gay and heterosexual communities is that bisexuals are sexually confused and cannot make up their minds which sex they like. However, that's the whole point- bisexuals are attracted to both sexes and are in many cases more clear about their sexuality than most others.


Bisexual Men Will Never Marry

Alongside the thought that bisexual men and women are sexually confused is the myth that they will never be able to settle on a partner of any sex. In many cases bisexuals put a lot of emphasis on emotional connections with either sex. This in mind, the opportunity for them to find a life partner is just as viable as it is for a heterosexual or homosexual. However, since same-sex marriage isn't legal in most places of the world, only a heterosexual marriage in most places will be recognized by law.


Bi Men are Sexually Promiscuous

Bisexuals are no more promiscuous than any others. Promiscuity (or frequent sex with multiple partners) depends on the individual irrespective of their sexual preference. However, liking both sexes increases a bisexual's chances of a sexual encounter or potential relationship (by shear numbers alone).


gaylife.about.com

A Letter To A Gay Friend

Dearest Alvin,

I was at the height of a confrontation with my dad when Natty called up and informed me that you were slashing your wrist after you found out that your boyfriend is now living with another gay. I tried my best to take it lightly however; I couldn’t help but feel terribly shocked especially so when I learned that the other gay used to be your close friend. This is the reason why I am writing you because I want to tell you that it is not yet the end of the world and that your beloved Danny Boy is not worth taking your life.

I really don’t understand what had been happening to our circle these past few days. Just last week, our gay friends came to me and cried to me their madness at the world. I hope you already know about Mcrae who, behind her being multi Miss Gay titlist, always receive bad words from his overly jealous boyfriend every time she is seen talking to another man. Here was Frederick who begged me to help her because her darling PJ is being courted by a gay professor. Ryan on the other hand, complained because Jay-Ar has not courted her yet after she has spent all her savings for her beauty regiments.

Wouldn’t you asked me about Dimple? He had been confining his self inside his room and has not yet been attending his classes lately because on his frustrations with Karl. Of course I don’t want you to mind Rene and Natty who always flaunt their virginity (as if we care?) because opposite to them are Weng and Roland who always take sex as a staple food. See how colorful our loves are? We’re just sharing our sentiments anyway!

My dear sister, I understand how painful and difficult it is on your part to go through such emotional nightmare. I know very well how much you love him and how much you give your life to him. In fact, I had been a witness to those many times when you had several ulcer attacks because you had to wait for him until midnight without eating anything so you could have dinner together but, only to be told that he could not go home because he was with his friends, enjoying the night over bottles of beer. I could not forget the many Sunday mornings when you were not feeling well but you had got out of bed and bear washing his bundle of vomit-smelling clothes. I knew you bought most of those as your gift for him. And worst, I could still see your tears and feel your worries every time he got sick and you would chose to miss your classes just to take care of him.

However, I don’t want you to regret your love for Danny Boy. Having love him the way is just normal for us gays because that is our nature of loving men. Gays have the high tendencies of falling inlove easily when men make us believe that we are important to them. We are also brave risk-takers for if we decide to love we give our life whole heartedly. Perhaps this is one reason why men take advantage if us because they believe it is our weakness. But, they just don’t know that deep in our hearts is an overwhelming victory as we take the gay pride of providing to everybody that we are normal individuals who have the capacity to love and whose capacity to love transcends all the earth’s boundaries.

Thus, let me tell you that committing suicide is the most stupid thing that you would have ever done in your life. Danny does not deserve you and his now living with another gay does not make you a less person either. It’s his loss not yours. Your love for him was one proof that you can be a great lover, even a better lover than straight men and women. With the experience, you’ll surely become a well adjusted gay individual whose life can be so much better than those who went through exchanging marriage vows and suddenly broke up, better than those who pretend that their families are happy and intact, better than those wives whose husbands secretly hang out with men during their free time, better than those who use the Bible as instrument to get themselves closer to men, and most of all, so much better than those narrow minded preachers who wrongly judge us because of their ignorance to the fact that gays are people who can be happy, loving, and of value of society.

Finally, I want you to know that there is so much more in life that we have to live for. You’re still young and I want you to sail on, continue to love again, and follow your heart’s desires. Just bear in mind that nobody, not even straight males and females, is guaranteed a perfect relationship. And if you’ll get hurt again, just accept it and be grateful with it. Joe D Mango once wrote that we should be thankful and happy, not because we lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling live in our hearts and made us happy.

Good Luck Sister!

With love,

Ate V

This letter was written by my college adviser, Prof. Arthur Pizzaro, for his very good friend who had problems of love that time. It was published in the Special February Edition of our Official College Newsletter “Cassayuran” Mindanao State University – Iligan Institute of Technology in the section “Familiar Faces, Hidden Lives.”