A Letter To A Gay Friend

Dearest Alvin,

I was at the height of a confrontation with my dad when Natty called up and informed me that you were slashing your wrist after you found out that your boyfriend is now living with another gay. I tried my best to take it lightly however; I couldn’t help but feel terribly shocked especially so when I learned that the other gay used to be your close friend. This is the reason why I am writing you because I want to tell you that it is not yet the end of the world and that your beloved Danny Boy is not worth taking your life.

I really don’t understand what had been happening to our circle these past few days. Just last week, our gay friends came to me and cried to me their madness at the world. I hope you already know about Mcrae who, behind her being multi Miss Gay titlist, always receive bad words from his overly jealous boyfriend every time she is seen talking to another man. Here was Frederick who begged me to help her because her darling PJ is being courted by a gay professor. Ryan on the other hand, complained because Jay-Ar has not courted her yet after she has spent all her savings for her beauty regiments.

Wouldn’t you asked me about Dimple? He had been confining his self inside his room and has not yet been attending his classes lately because on his frustrations with Karl. Of course I don’t want you to mind Rene and Natty who always flaunt their virginity (as if we care?) because opposite to them are Weng and Roland who always take sex as a staple food. See how colorful our loves are? We’re just sharing our sentiments anyway!

My dear sister, I understand how painful and difficult it is on your part to go through such emotional nightmare. I know very well how much you love him and how much you give your life to him. In fact, I had been a witness to those many times when you had several ulcer attacks because you had to wait for him until midnight without eating anything so you could have dinner together but, only to be told that he could not go home because he was with his friends, enjoying the night over bottles of beer. I could not forget the many Sunday mornings when you were not feeling well but you had got out of bed and bear washing his bundle of vomit-smelling clothes. I knew you bought most of those as your gift for him. And worst, I could still see your tears and feel your worries every time he got sick and you would chose to miss your classes just to take care of him.

However, I don’t want you to regret your love for Danny Boy. Having love him the way is just normal for us gays because that is our nature of loving men. Gays have the high tendencies of falling inlove easily when men make us believe that we are important to them. We are also brave risk-takers for if we decide to love we give our life whole heartedly. Perhaps this is one reason why men take advantage if us because they believe it is our weakness. But, they just don’t know that deep in our hearts is an overwhelming victory as we take the gay pride of providing to everybody that we are normal individuals who have the capacity to love and whose capacity to love transcends all the earth’s boundaries.

Thus, let me tell you that committing suicide is the most stupid thing that you would have ever done in your life. Danny does not deserve you and his now living with another gay does not make you a less person either. It’s his loss not yours. Your love for him was one proof that you can be a great lover, even a better lover than straight men and women. With the experience, you’ll surely become a well adjusted gay individual whose life can be so much better than those who went through exchanging marriage vows and suddenly broke up, better than those who pretend that their families are happy and intact, better than those wives whose husbands secretly hang out with men during their free time, better than those who use the Bible as instrument to get themselves closer to men, and most of all, so much better than those narrow minded preachers who wrongly judge us because of their ignorance to the fact that gays are people who can be happy, loving, and of value of society.

Finally, I want you to know that there is so much more in life that we have to live for. You’re still young and I want you to sail on, continue to love again, and follow your heart’s desires. Just bear in mind that nobody, not even straight males and females, is guaranteed a perfect relationship. And if you’ll get hurt again, just accept it and be grateful with it. Joe D Mango once wrote that we should be thankful and happy, not because we lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling live in our hearts and made us happy.

Good Luck Sister!

With love,

Ate V

This letter was written by my college adviser, Prof. Arthur Pizzaro, for his very good friend who had problems of love that time. It was published in the Special February Edition of our Official College Newsletter “Cassayuran” Mindanao State University – Iligan Institute of Technology in the section “Familiar Faces, Hidden Lives.”